Aug. 27, from Louie, Day 88

Well, Pops, it’s been a day of big highs ‘n’ lows here on Canyon Trail.

My insides nearly burst outta my tummy ‘n’ snout when I read this mornin’ that you was already on the road ‘n’ headin’ home. I tried to keep it a secret from Mom like you told me, but she caught me doin’ cartwheels in the kitchen, ‘n’ you know, I don’t do cartwheels over just any old thing. So I had to tell Mom what was up, ‘n’ then SHE was doin’ cartwheels, too, ‘n’ it woulda made quite the picture, ‘cept neither one of us thought to get the camera ‘cuz we was so busy cartwheelin’ ourselves.

‘N’ then Mom flew into a frenzy of throwin’ everythin’ back into the storage room so’s your office would be empty, ‘n’ I went into a frenzy of collectin’ all my little buddies so we’d be ready for a rousin’ game of tag as soon as you got home. ‘N’ that was so exhaustin’, I didn’t even mind it when Mom took off for some doctor’s appointment without me, ‘cuz by then, I really needed a nap.

But Mom was gone an awful long time, ‘n’ I was startin’ to fret that in her excitement, she’d wrapped Mr. Rav ’round a telephone pole, ‘n’ wouldn’t THAT have been a disgustin’ way to welcome you home?

But no, on the way home from the doctor’s (where she was told she’s in fine health for someone her age, thank you), Mom stopped at Acme, ‘n’ she loaded Mr. Rav from top to bottom with all your favorite things — you know, some nice Gala apples ‘n’ some oatnut bread (yech) ‘n’ some Lean Pockets ‘cuz they was on sale ‘n’ a nice lime for your refreshin’ evenin’ libations ‘n’ a big bag of pretzels (also on sale) ‘n’ (even though she’d threatened not to do this ever again) ANOTHER pickin’ chicken so’s she could make a wunnerful casserole that could be sittin’ in the oven while you ‘n’ her said hello on Thursday.

‘N’ then we took off for a drizzly hike on the Towpath, ‘n’ that was why we missed your phone call with the distressin’ news that you was stranded in Salt Lake City ‘cuz Ms. Corolla had a dreadful chest cold.

Me 'n' Mom is waitin' for Pops.

Me ‘n’ Mom is waitin’ for Pops.

Oh, gosh, Pops, when me ‘n’ Mom listened to that message, we slapped our butts down onto the kitchen floor ‘n’ had us a good cry. You was soooooooooooo close to gettin’ home, ‘n’ now you’re so far!!!!!

Well, we dried our eyes ‘n’ blew our noses on Mom’s T-shirt ‘n’ consoled ourselves with the thought that at least we had each other to cuddle with on the big bed, whereas you was stuck alone somewhere in a Mormon Chinatown.

“Just where is Salt Lake City, Mom?” I asked, still snifflin’ a little.

So Mom dug the atlas outta her closet, ‘n’ we huddled over it on the coffee table (well, Mom was actually on the couch) ‘n’ she pointed to Salt Lake City on the map.

” ‘N’ where’s Canyon Trail?” I asked.

Well, Mom’s finger had to slide clear on over to the middle of the next page before it come to a stop on Akron.

“OMIGOD,” I wailed, “that’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far away!!!!!”

“It’s a goodly distance,” Mom sadly agreed. “But look at it this way, Lou, it’s still at least two inches closer than the Stanislaus, which is where Pops woulda been if he hadn’t’ve tried to surprise us with an early arrival.”

“But Mom,” I said, my voice quiverin’, “it’s gonna take DAYS for Pops to get over a whole page ‘n’ a half of the atlas!” ‘N’ I was so distraught, I toppled offa the coffee table ‘n’ onto the floor.

Fortunately, it’s carpeted, ‘n’ I didn’t do myself no damage. ‘N’ Mom IMMEDIATELY crawled onto the floor beside me ‘n’ administered emergency belly rubs.

‘N’ eventually I felt better.

But I’m goin’ to bed tonight sadder’n I expected. As Mom said, we’re lucky Ms. Corolla didn’t go into a coma when you was alone out in the desert, ‘n’ we’re most hopeful that the doctors in Salt Lake City will be able to pump her full of antibiotics ‘n’ get her back on the road before too many more seconds pass. ‘N’ we’re both most sorry that you’re gonna have to eat takeout moo goo gai pan for dinner.

But we sure do wish you was in Wyomin’ instead of Utah.

Hang in there, Pops.

We’ll be waitin’ for you no matter WHEN you get home.

‘N’ tell Ms. Corolla I’m thinkin’ about her.

Your most devoted,


Pops replies:

Oh, Louie: I am so sorry that you had such a distressing day. I know that my earlier news had you ecstatic, only to have you come crashin’ down to earth with my later news. But, don’t worry. I’ve been storing up good karma and I think I’ll use some of it now. Mormon Chinatown — you are such a hoot, Lou. As I sit here in the middle of the night with lots of voices outside my room, your letter brings a big smile to my face. You are, indeed, the WBD.

Published in: on August 27, 2013 at 10:03 pm  Leave a Comment  

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