Aug. 29, from Louie, Day 90

Dear Pops,

The minutes is countin’ down rapidly toward your homecomin’, ‘n’ me ‘n’ Mom is like two whirlin’ dervishes gettin’ everythin’ ready.

The quilts has all been laundered so’s the big bed don’t smell like me no more (although I’m still quite miffed that Mom thought nasty detergent chemicals smell better’n Louie).

Three of the five deer who stopped by for an evenin' snack.

Three of the five deer who stopped by for an evenin’ snack.

My little buddies is all present ‘n’ accounted for, even my birthday buddy who you haven’t met yet, but I’m plannin’ on introducin’ you guys first thing.

The kitchen floor has been mopped so all my muddy footprints ‘n’ chicken sprinkle slobbers has been removed, ‘n’ the carpets has been vacuumed so’s all my Milkbone crumbs has been sucked up ‘n’ dumped in the trash. (It took Mom many, many trips to the garbage can to get rid of all them crumbs, let me tell you.)

I’ve ex-HAUST-ed myself rollin’ in all the dirty laundry Mom’s been gatherin’ for the washin’ machine. Gosh, she’s been doin’ so much laundry, you’d think she wore nothin’ but dirty clothes all summer. (“Lou, I’m just tryin’ to make sure Pops has lotsa clean towels ‘n’ such after his many distressin’ days on the dusty roads.” “Mom, I don’t think clean towels’ll be the No. 1 thing on his mind.” “Oh? ‘N’ just what do YOU think will be topmost in his mind, Mr. Smarty-Pants?” “Why, tag with my little buddies, of course.”)

Mom yoked me up to both o’ my blings so I could drag the heaviest stuff outta your office ‘n’ back to the storage room for her. ‘N’ I was so careful, I didn’t damage the new paint job at all (‘cept for one unfortunate scratch on the woodwork that we’re not gonna show Mom, OK?) So now your office is back to the way it was before you left. (Mom’s real sorry, but she got so caught up in the paintin’, she never did clean out that stinky closet, so it still stinks, so I guess you’ll have to scrub it out yourself. Welcome home.)

We almost got all the brick work in the back yard exposed, but it’s been kinda rainy this week ‘n’ Mom’s got about six more feet to dig up. But to make up for her shortcomin’s, I spent part of this afternoon frantically diggin’ up a coupla patches of grass that dared to sprout in your absence. I did it all for you, Pops. I didn’t want the sight of real grass to give you a heart attack or nothin’.

‘N’ just before I settled down to write this letter, me ‘n’ Mom finished scourin’ out the bathtub, which somehow got littered with a thick layer of black hairs while you was gone. (“Honest to gosh, Mom, I haven’t been bathin’ in Dad’s tub. Yuck!” “Well then, you tell me how all them black hairs got in there.” “Well, geez, Mom, you’re the only one who takes showers around here.” ” ‘N’ do I look like I got any black hairs left on my head?” “No comment, Mom.”)

Louie personally supervises the welcome home cookin'.

Louie personally supervises the welcome home cookin’.

‘Course, the most important item on any welcome home list is the menu, ‘n’ I’ve been supervisin’ Mom most strenuously to make sure there’s plenty o’ meat. We got a nice casserole planned that we can whip together no matter WHEN you get home, ‘n’ I’ve checked over the recipe, ‘n’ the No. 1 ingredient is CHICKEN. ‘Nuff said. (Oh, yeah, Mom’s been beverage shoppin’, so that’s covered, too.)

Now the only thing left is for me is to patrol the perimeter tonight while Mom tries to sleep, makin’ sure to bark bark BARK at anythin’ that moves so we aren’t bothered by any orc invasions while we party tomorrow. ‘Course, that means I won’t get much rest tonight, but it’s a small sacrifice if it means your homecomin’ will be all the more pleasurable. So Mom will just have to suck it up. I am on duty until the moment you ‘n’ Ms. Corolla pull into the driveway, ‘n’ I take my ‘sponsibilities most seriously.

So drive safe tomorrow, Pops, ‘n’ come home hungry.

Me ‘n’ Mom are starved.

Your best bud,


Pops replies:

Oh, Louie: You look so … uh … so domestic in that apron. Try to leave some chicken for Pops. Meanwhile, soon, Lou. Real soon.

Published in: on August 29, 2013 at 9:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

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